On Facing Your Fears

I've had this quote saved to a note pad on my desktop for months because I've been meaning to make a post about it. Of course, being the forgetful spaz I am, I'd tell myself that I'd get to it another day and completely forget about it.

After a series of frustrating events, I turned to my laptop for refuge, as I do so often. As always, sitting there waiting for me to read it was this quote:

"Look at what you’re fearful of, what you're

 ashamed of, ask yourself why and how to

 overcome your fears."

This quote was taken from a video called "How To Look Better TAG" posted by one of my many YouTube heroes: Shameless Maya.

The reason this stood out to me is because I'm currently going through an extremely trying time in my life. I feel as if everyday is a test that I'm failing at continuously with no end in sight.

Everyday I seem to be giving myself excuse after excuse as to why I can't do this or do that, I have to wait for the right time or I might mess something up and it's been a never ending stream of negativity stemming from me being afraid...

Of what?

That's the question. When Maya said this I had to really take a second, break down my fears and face them. I decided to sit down, write out my top three fears, why I was afraid of them and how I could go about dealing with or correcting each one.

1. Being Alone

The first one is probably the most typical of the bunch and the most common.

I know what you may be thinking and this isn't just relationship wise. It's a fear of mine to never have a successful relationship, not only that but to be someone with virtually non-existent friends who hardly ever come around.

Don't get me wrong, I have a few friends, they are all amazing and I wouldn't trade them for the world. But being someone who suffers from depression and anxiety it is a constant fear of mine that they'll finally catch on that I'm super annoying, boring, insufferable and completely ditch me altogether.

The fix: Finding hobbies. Start filling my day with plenty of activities and purpose so that I don't have time to think about how alone I may or may not feel. Transform myself into someone I can be alone with 24/7. That way I'm not heartbroken when my friends are off busy with their own lives.
Also, getting a plant or a pet can work wonders.

2. Not Making It On My Own

This one I imagine is pretty common for those who, instead of heading off to college, 

ended up living with their parents after high school.

After being separated from the Air Force and moving back home I've had a hard time staying consistently motivated. Believing in myself isn't something I have the most practice in, which is my own fault. I'm not sure why, my parents would say that I never paid enough attention, but I lived a life where I had very little exposure to experiences and knowledge that other people had a basic knowledge of from a young age. There are things that I never learned until I randomly came across it in a video or book and then I looked in up on Google. Whenever I shared these revelations with anyone they look at me as if I am a naive child who knows nothing about anything, story of my life by the way. 

So of course this bleeds over into the category of living on my own. I'd never taken the time to learn or ask about taxes or health care or buying cars or insurance or what utilities were until the last couple of years when I actually needed to know. While I should have been taught or taught myself these life skills before now it simply didn't happen. Do I regret that now? Absolutely.

The fix: Paying more attention things I'm going to be dealing with for the rest of my life. Googling  things, teaching myself and not relying on others to hand me all the information I need to know on a silver platter. Finding a mentor is usually a viable option. Someone who has been there and won't mind helping me on my journey.

3. Not Living Up To My Full Potential

Ah, my favorite fear. If I never go after what I love, what I dream of doing in life, how can I live up to my full potential? 

I can get so caught up with the previous fear that I forget to be happy and be the best me I can be.

The fix: Never giving up on my dreams. Ever.

After writing these out I feel as if I've targeted and locked on to my fears. Now all that's left to do is engage and destroy. This won't be easy by a long shot. These are my three BIGGEST fears we're talking about. Buuut, I am however, looking forward to the battle because I know once I begin I won't stop until the war is won.

Well, now. This is the part where I challenge you to come up with your three worst fears, write out why you fear them and make a plan to tackle those fears. Don't forget to leave a comment down below.

Thanks for reading,

xoxo Alysia